Notes on love, uncertainty, and living without a script

Essays

A personal essay on consent over time, emotional fatigue, and why relationship agreements need to evolve. Reflections on open relationships, autonomy, and sustainable love.

We agreed to this. So why did it still hurt?

February 3, 2026

@2026 victoria onken
brand + website by i know a gal

Victoria Onken is a relationship coach who blends human empathy with AI insights to guide people in non-traditional relationships to feel secure, understood, and aligned with love.

Based in amsterdam
coaching worldwide online
open to travel for live events

Essays

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We agreed to this. So why did it still hurt?