Notes on love, uncertainty, and living without a script

Essays

Victoria leaning on a bank building, evoking money in open relationships and the conversation couples avoid, by Victoria Onken

The last thing we take off

July 1, 2026

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Silver spoons resting on a grey table beside an empty plate, evoking the spoon theory of limited capacity in relationships, by Victoria Onken

The relationships we can afford to be in

June 18, 2026

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Hand applying eyeliner at a steamy bathroom mirror, evoking polyamory vocabulary and the language of non-monogamy, by Victoria Onken.

The words that arrived after I did

June 3, 2026

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open relationships abroad Victoria Onken

When Relationships Change Abroad

May 10, 2026

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Soft, inherited-feeling portrait reflecting the cultural scripts behind relationship transitions, by Victoria Onken

When Love Stops Following a Script

March 24, 2026

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@2026 victoria onken
brand + website by i know a gal

Victoria Onken is a relationship coach helping individuals and couples navigate consensual non-monogamy, open relationships, and complex relationship transitions with clarity, care, and thoughtful support.

Based in amsterdam
coaching worldwide online
open to travel for live events

Essays

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The last thing we take off

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The relationships we can afford to be in

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The words that arrived after I did

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When Relationships Change Abroad

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When Love Stops Following a Script